the lull

Now that the panic and annoyance of all my midterms and essay (yeah just the one) is over, i can really focus on the real disaster in my life. My freaking room. God I hate it. I have a great closet and desk courtesy of my father but other than that its still a hell hole down here. I need only a few things and it will be perfect. 1. an area rug, its effing cold down here so i never use my desk. 2. a laundry bag, to hang from my door so i have more floor space in the entry of my room. 3. a freaking garbage can so i dont need to fill giant Sears bags. 4. Hooks for my wall so i can hang some stuff up. Four things that will make my life sweet.

Today I go to Ikea and fix my life.
Its gonna be good.

three.

i'll punch out the girl who says, "flat" after spending a summer in the UK.
he's the boy in the Hollister shirt with hand me down jeans.
girls who don't know they need to take out the dart stitch and never saw Goodfellas.
she laughed because he's an old family friend and you're just wearing the tee shirt.
he'll make you believe the other girls were just other.
guys who are smart but know every line to The Notebook.

i'll pay for my own drink but you can hold my hand at the scary parts of the movie.
i'll always be early. you'll have to catch up.

hold my purse while i...

finish this drink and hit on your girlfriend.

It has come to my attention that I haven't gone out in a while. Its probably because I work on the days the normies go out. Maybe that's why I feel so pent up and anxious. So who wants to come out with me next saturday.. get a little crazy? oh or if it suits better... thursday really works :). I'm starting to sound desperate. Real desperation would be me going out on my own. Luckily I haven't made it there yet.

anyway I'm freaking tired and have an essay to write, so thats all I have for now.
Love you all.

info.

So I just wanted to say that I have officially applied to Mohawk for Event Management. :) Bye-bye five grand. but i figured out that I'll be able to pay most of it off by September if I only use my paychecks. I'll save my tips for the fun stuff, like visiting Courtney again. love youuu.
Anyway that's all.

two.

i cannot be yours if i'm barely mine.


bleach your teeth and hair.
be smart but not intimidating.
they dont like that.


"youre funny," they'll say
"i'm honest," she'll blush


it was before she knew what to say.
before she did it all right.
it was real then.
silly and awkward.
harsh and hard.
but it was hers.
and he liked her anyway.


but i'd love to.

procrastinating is like masturbating...

because its satisfying (for a while) but it still feels like you could be doing something better.

I just thought that because i haven't posted in a while, this one should start with some dirtiness. You've earned it. And I'm mas..procrastinating right now. :P

So in response to the whole two people that have told me to post something new... I am. (see Robin, I care about your boredom needs:))
*deep breath*
I'm really tired. lol. Not only have I not been on a very healthy sleep cycle, I've been completely stressing myself out. For no real reason. I have work, and I like seeing people and doing things. That's fine. I have my classes, which are a joke. I literally have to pass and thats it. I have an 80% average. Why am I freaking myself out? I have my plans for next year, and at this rate the money won't be a huge problem. And yet... here I sit, with a headache from grinding my teeth. Whatever. lol. I probably just need a good headclearing (courtney;)), a bath, and maybe stop drinking coffee. I don't think its helping with the jitteryness. But now that I've turned you on and then depressed you... let's continue. lol.

I'm starting to love running. Its like walking, only really fast. I walk everywhere. I have the experience. Why didn't I think of this before? Actually I think I just like the routine I have myself in. And that I get an ab work out too. Who knew? But my point is that I like it. I just need to start on my arms again. I can't go too crazy or I'll Hulk out (the green one not the one with the slutty daughter) and that's not really sexy. Well.. a little definition is pretty hot on girls, but when it looks like you could snap a 2x4, its time to slow it down. But then again that's just my opinion. Rock that out if you wanna.

I know I've said this before, possibly on this blog but I am getting seriously bored with the selection of literature out there. I think I need to extend past the classics and the new "shock" material. I loved The Gunseller so I might get into more of the spy/mystery/noir type novel. I'm a huge fan of heist films so it would settle that side of me well. Any suggestions? Anyway this brings me to another point (I love it when that happens[eww I just sneezed, I really dislike it, its right up there with needing to pee]) There needs to be more modern noir films being made. They are amazing. The only two I can think of at this very second are; Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and Wild Things. I adore both. So original and funny, dark and sexy, and just killer plot and dialogue. One Night at McCools tried to be noirish but it fell flat. The ending was still pretty funny. Not that good, but funny. Once again I am way up for suggestions. Oh just came to mind... Lucky Number Slevin. I think it can be argued that it is almost new noir.

At this point I will do one of my quasi-reviews of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.
*another deep breath*
First of all, Robert Downey Jr.... that's all. He's great in this. Seriously. He plays Harry, an almost oafish, kinda awkward, loser, who gets whisked out of a bad situation into a worse one. :) The dialogue is sharp, and witty. The plot is perfect and sad. Its the dreamgirl; we all have that one who we never said anything to/about but was just there and was perfect, "it looked like her becuase it fucking was her." Yeah he swears alot and its great, "fuck, can I say fuck some more?" and "and to all our good friends in the midwest, sorry we said fuck so much." Oh and how can I forget Gay Parry, yeah he's a detective. They call him Gay Parry... because he's gay. "no I'm knee deep in pussy I just liked the name so much I kept it." Makes sense. Everything he says comes out in one breath, so he gets the best long sharp lines.

Okay so there you go my good friends, I did my best with what little brain power I could muster. Just so you know the word 'muster' took up the rest of it, so now I shall retire to bed.. well to sleep, I'm already on my bed. Its like a desk but warm and with pillows.

Good night.

Ps. I love you Courtney! Have a good flight.
pps.There you go... happy? you would fire this? thats right you would. lol.
ppps. a man's gotta do what a man's gotta.... oh god thats enough. bed.

most romantic thoughts i had today.

i want to sit on your roof in the summer.
you dont have to come up with me,
i know you work early.

if i wanted to have kids,
i'd want to have your kids.
so maybe just a cat then.

i want to be that girl,
but i'm me instead.
i'm glad to think you like that more.

i want to sit on your roof in the summer.
i promise i wont jump off,
unless you're there for me to land on.

just like last year...

welcome... its been a whopping almost 5 days since ive last blogged. shame on me.. dont i know that when people get bored they want something new to ignore? lol. good times.

another year, another physical. unpleasant but necessary. today was the day, and i survived. yeah thats pretty much it. well i do have to go in for blood work cause my sugar levels have been funky, i think. in my non medically trained way i figured that feeling light headed and much in the way of ick, in the morning and between meals means that theres something not quite right. :)

i'm actually pretty psyched about my last essay. i can say its my last essay because it will be my last essay (of university). kinda awesome. even better i'm writing on Hegel's theory of tragedy. for those who dont know, i'm kinda way into that. get me drunk and ask me about katharsis (yeah with a k bitches) and i will seriously not shut up. ive been considering blogging about it, its actually really a neat idea once you get into the history and the great interpretations of both the more modern plays like Death of a Salesman ("you men.. and your sales") and the classics like the Sophicles trilogy. anyway i can feel the boredom from the future so i will move on.

I found two more invtation sites a couple days ago, wileyvalentine.com and envelopments.com. the first is the more traditional, letterpressed (optional), monogrammed, kind of look (which i friggen love) at a fairly reasonable price (which is awesome). and the second is more of a modern way of putting all the pieces together into a expandable envelope (very efficient and gives a chance to be creative) at, once again, a reasonable price.
oh and i should warn you. i will be talking wedding stuff, so maybe i should start putting that stuff in hot pink or something so those of you who dont care can skip it. lol. but in my defence, things like graphic design and the whole logistics of how many, who, when, and how much are pretty cool (its the only math i can do/stand). so shut up.

oh and ive been knitting and experimenting with that so if you see something and are like.. hmm maybe casey can make me one (i made my sister a headband that she saw on the hills[i do not support anything that mtv does or promotes]).. send me a pic and i'll see what i can do. nothing sweater-like yet though.. im working up to it. lol. oh and ashwee.. i have a great idea of something for you that im gonna make right after reanna's scarf. :)

anywho... im done for now. see you around.
love casey

shiny pictures.

ello all.
after looking through several blogs, i realized that mine have no interesting images to go along with my massive amount of ramblings. to break up the insanity i figured some pretty pictures were in order to fully illustrate my points. i'll try to remember this for the future. and now for some retroactive image imput.

i absolutely love the cover art of Chuck Palahniuk's work. take a look.





the image of the plane is remniscent of a cross, as religion is a huge part of the novel. pretty awesome.






Lullaby is probably my favourite of the covers, eventhough it is the simplest. i think its the image of the dead songbird; innocent and childlike.

I love the cartoonyness of this one. it goes with the fakeness that you discover in the plot.... oh and she gets her jaw shot off. hence the pink splatter. cute.


i was thinking of posting the Dexter covers too... but theyre lame lol.

oh and for legalness. i didnt do these, nor do i claim to, the images belong to the artists Rodrigo Corral, Judy Lanfredi and Gene Mollica. not that im sure they care. lol.

Carefully Creeping Casey

hello all.
I was bored and I wondered what I should be doing; cleaning, studying, reading things that I should be studying. And then I remembered my blog. My own slice of procrastination. Now that I'm here I might as well tell you about Dexter.

The series on Showtime is much like the novels by Jeff Lindsay. The same monotoned narration by the loveably emotionally stunted Dexter Morgan, the same characters and personalities, the same hot as hell location. The first novel even begins like the pilot. After that the storylines are much different. Rita, Dexter's wounded girlfriend is little more than a coverup, a way of looking normal to the outside world, but he actually becomes very much attatched to her kids. Deborah, Dexter's sister and only person he actually cares about, finds out about his true nature. And Laguerta, a detective who is painfuly attracted to Dexter, dies instead of sergeant Dokes in the first novel. I can assure you that if you enjoy the series the books will do it for you too, especially now that its on hiatus until next year.

More than just a good dose of gore and a solid plot, Dexter speaks to many in its "what if". What if you felt nothing, worse, if the only thing you felt was for death, taking lives? Would suck huh? But the thing that gets me about the idea is that Dexter became a "normal" person, under the hand of Harry, he was taught how to fit into the world and be a part of it. My what if is; what if after Harry died, the lessons ended and he decided against it. Why does he so badly want to be normal? It could be only for survival sake, Harry said that if he wanted to be who he was he had to be someone else. But then again that says alot right there.

Bloody hell I'm tired all of a sudden lol. My thoughts arent really there tonight so I'll pick up on this cloudy issue later on. I'll end on a question for my few readers... who are we when we're not who we are?

love, casey.

oops

hey, i know i said that i might post a little something yesterday but i got to talking on msn for the first time in forever and went to sleep unposted. but alas today is a new day and... i have to run, right now. to the bus of course. maybe after that too but we'll see. im not too ambitious. either way have a good one and i'll be back later tonight.
love casey.

so its pink. i'm dealing so should you.

so i'd like to start with the comment that my tastes are changing with my old age. i like this colour, its not prom queen/bublegum/'oh-em-gee that boy is cute' pink. its nice, vintage and romantic (damnit jason do you get it now?) lol. and that takes care of that.

this blog might actually go on for a while depending on how much detail etc i'm going into.. could be a new start on a theme for the blog. as you can probably tell it hasnt gone all that far yet.

anyway i've been pretty much devouring books over the last few months, mostly those of Chuck Palahnuik. yesss i spelled it right the first time. high fives for me. I have read; An Oral History Biography of Buster 'Rant' Casey, Lullaby, Invisible Monsters, Choke, Diary and Survivor. They are all pretty much amazing.

The interesting aspect that appears in all of the novels I've read so far, is his incredible use of repetition. In each novel there is a constant leimotif so to speak throughout. In Survivor he tells the reader about ways to clean and fix things, in Choke he cannot find the perfect word to describe something, but states that its "the first thing to come to mind," in Diary the main character copes through alcohol so whenever something goes wrong, she tells us to "take a drink". It goes on like that through the narrative. I love it. It creates a close familiarity with the characters, you almost can tell how theyre going to react, and yet are still curious as to the wording. For example at the end of Choke he writes, "Powderkeg. And that is exactly the right word." It is moments like that that bring closure to the narrative even when the story is not complete. The idea of many of his novels is not to tell a complete satisfying story, another example from Choke is (I'm using so many examples from Choke but its good damnit.) straight from the narrator, he says from the beginning that this is not a story where the main character grows and becomes a better person and everything is happily ever after.

The fact that nothing is completely resolved is another strong vein that runs through all of his novels. None have been about a happy ending, its about people's lives being ripped apart and things being shaken to their core, its the "and then what?" Its about dealing, not knowing if its going to be okay and dealing anyway. They're about making do with what you have; with the friends, the family and the you you have. Not making it better and many times making it worse. From Lullaby, the main charater Carl Streator (yeah i remembered that, weiiird.) makes perfect models of buildings, and then stomps them to the ground in his bare feet and so through out the book his feet are infected and hurt. From Invisible Monsters, she gives the man she loves estrogen and ruins his body, just like she destroyed herself. Mostly, Mr. Palanhiuk wants us to think, to forget the things that keep us safe and distracted. He wants to show us ourselves, all the conspiracies, lies, and half-truths we perpetuate. For example, the Tooth Fairy in Rant; Buster finds gold coins and gives it to his classmates and tells them to tell their parents the Tooth Fairy gave it to them. The town got rich and the parents could never tell the children that the Tooth Fairy wasnt real.

So that's my semi-review of a chunk of Chuck Palanhiuk's work (ps try saying that outloud, people will think youre having a stroke). I completely recommend it, even just to get the random pieces of information. But dont come crying to me if you end up in the hospital with a spider/small animal bite. I'm not the one recommending that. It is an interesting result though ;). read it. we'll laugh. I'll wait, take your time.

That's all for today folks. Hopefully it was coherent. Tomorrow if I have time and energy I might do something on the Dexter series by Jeff Lindsay.

Night.


ps. love you Court-nee, see you in almost 16days :D!

another for today

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split ends + tip money = haircut

okay so ive been putting this off for the longest time. i really wanted to cut my hair, fix my bangs etc for a while but i always get tempted to chop it all off when i get into the chair. and i know all maybe one of you reading this will shout..."NOO!" and yeah yeah i get it. its all long and pretty. i like it too. but its starting to drive me crazy. this morning i made an appointment with Oracle (good people, not bad prices and so far good cuts) and it will be cut. i havent decided how much yet, but it will be cut. i cant promise that it will be long when i get back, but i will say with most certainty that i will not have Spears/Clean/Picard-ed my self.
good example of why i need to cut my hair... 30 seconds ago i was choking on a piece of hair that i most likely half swallowed while i was sleeping. (insert your own really dirty joke here.) my hair is literally trying to kill me now. it must be stopped.
ps. if i am found dead of asphyxia, do not listen to my hair.. it did it. damn it.
anyway i get weird when im hungry. so food time for me. i hear the call of the mini bagel. and sorry for the babble. its your own damn fault for reading it. so ha ha.

casey.

a real ps. i realize that im not capitalizing or using all my punctuation. i may use it next time, its a mixed bag with me. all i can promise is that it will be marginally coherent and i will never START WRTNG LYKE DIS!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 lol okay? good. see yah later.

test... this is a test.

and for something to be up.. lets be honest it took too much brainpower to come up with the names for everything not to write something damn it.
sooo la la la.
end.